she still needs to know that I know she is having an A.
No, she doesn't. I don't know that it matters to her. It does matter to you so that you can show her you aren't a "fool". Know what? You're not. Letting her know will not change anything.
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That she needs to know what it is that she is doing, not just to our M, but to our kids
On some level she does know. That doesn't mean she isn't going to go forward with her plans. This is about her.
That she moves when your son sits next to her could be about alot of things, including guilt. It's really hard to stop trying to interpret their every move thought etc., it takes time and a conscious effort and then alot more time.
That she spends time with the boys is good. It may not be the same as before and may not be the way they or you would like, but it is time. Believe me I know how angry it can make you that she isn't really engaged with them. I have a D that went into crisis and I'm at the point now, where I think her Dad does the best he can. That doesn't mean that she (or I) likes his limitations. it just means he has limitations. There is nothing to do but accept that.
Right now, your W has a whole bunch of limitations. She's human and imperfect. And you're hurt and angry. It's understandable.
It's also easy to be angry on behalf of your kids and that can make you feel more righteous in confronting her. But again, I wouldn't.
