A fork in the road - EA admitted by wife

[NYCPeter]

Thanks for all the replies.

Telemark -

Continue to devote your time only to your girls. To you, your W should be a roommate, nothing more.

Very tough to do - I'm trying though.

Accuray -

One observation I have made following your posts is that you tend not to journal your backsliding in some cases.

I know you are right - I come away from the convos with the positives, and don't know if I shut out the negetives and backsliding, I'll do my best to transcript better.

What kind of positive motivation would you like your wife to have in your relationship?

That the end result will make her life what she wants it to be.

What does she want from the relationship?

I think she's now getting what she always wanted in a M - but "it's too late she wants to move on".

What motivated her to marry you originally, and what did she most like about your marriage historically?

I think she wanted stability and a soul mate, we laughed a lot and enjoyed each others company whatever we did - we never had one thing that we did together we had loads (Movies, comedy, theatre, museums, going for a walk). We lost our way and now she does not want to spend time together.

25 -

I do NOT believe she doesn't love you. I almost don't even believe SHE believes it, but maybe she does. And so what? It does not make it true!

She loves me as a friend and as a father of her children - she does not love me as a husband nor someone she wants to be with or spend any time with.

He'll live with 24/7 care the rest of his life. And your d?

My D will too - she'll never be able to be in a group home without constant supervision.

Re lawyering - I'm really hoping if this were to go through we could do so through mediation - I'm willing to be fair and to give her everything she is due - I hope she is too. I'm hoping to use a L to review any documents and confirm it's within the realm of normal in our situation.

2thepoint -

One thing you MUST UNDERSTAND is that you cannot control what your W does, thinks, says, etc. She controls these things. But, what you can control is what you do, think and say.

I understand - I know I cannot, but I do by my actions want to show her other choices.

Thanks for all the feedback -
Quick journal -
D9 has a bad cold, she was supposed to have a minor procedure today to help with her drooling (she has excessive saliva). Procedure was cancelled due to D9's cold - so I ended up going into work (booked the day off).

Came home - Pleasant exchange with the W, she then went onto the computer to look for a job as "she said she was going to need it soon" - I validated and said I'm sure that any organization would be lucky to have you. So she recognizes she'll need to work more to improve her standard of living if a D were to.

I know I can't control her - I think more time would turn this around, question is do I have that time. If she still plans on seeing the L next week it's the next step in a chain of events that would lead to something I don't want to happen.