Yes, almost always the Walk Aways will need to validate their reasons for leaving. Usually guilt and/or anger drives this. When these accusations flare up again (notice how I didn't say 'if') validate their feelings. Don't argue or reason with H when he's like this. That'll just make it worse. Save the repair work for when H let's you know he's ready and wouldn't mind talking about it.
Let's talk about the WAW. This is the person that needs to be LISTENED to. This is not a person who is needing to validate their reasons for leaving. They have them. And they are usually strong reasons.
The Walkaway spouse is done. Because they have tried. You may not think they have tried 'correctly'...but they have 'tried' in what they think is the best way they know how.
If you want to repair your marriage with the classic walkaway...you must make amends, reattract, get your second chance at a first impression--but you have to be smart about it. The key is REAL GIVING. Really listen. Find out everything you can about what makes this person happy. Really figure out what THEIR definition of love is, and learn to love them in a way that rings true to them.
The catch--the more your learn about really loving someone else, if you use books like 5LL: is that you expect to receive your own needs being met in your love language. I see it all over the board. Sometimes that works, and sometimes it just takes so much longer. Learn to really give first. And then learn to really be patient in teaching your spouse to love you. It is so worth it!
