I have to start a new topic since things have changed in the last week. You can find my previous topics here, here and here.
A brief overview. W and me have been married 12 years, together 16...we are 32 now. Half of our lives. We have to daughters 8 and 3. W dropped the bomb on 8/3/11, moved out 8/19/11. She was tied up in an EA with another woman that turned physical. The OW left my W to work on her marriage.
For the sake of time, I'll get to the point. If you have any questions you can read my previous threads, or if you don't feel like reading, just ask.
My W and I haven't talked for a month until this week. Things seemed to be going good. She was responsive to me and I honestly thought that she may seem to have some lingering feelings for me. Rookie mistake, I know. I talked to her today and told her that I missed my best friend and I hated not talking to her for a month. She said that she is just trying to move on. I asked her if we could be friends. She said she didn't want to give me any false hope and she has no desire to be with me. I told her I wasn't asking for a relationship or anything else. I just want to be friends. She said this would be okay.
Although hearing that she has no desire to be with me is painful. I am assuming this is a good sign and that I can show her the changes that I have made. I am hopeful that she will someday fall in love with me again. She's changed so much though that I'm worried that is not possible.
I don't know where to go from here. I know I'm shooting myself in the foot here. If we do indeed become friends, I don't think I will ever get over her. On the other hand, I'm afraid of losing her completely. I don't even know how to get over her. I've tried detaching, going dark, LRT. My heart hurts, my brain is tired. Am I getting myself in over my head?
I really need some advice. Where do I go from here? What do I do? She said I could call her, do I really contact her? Can I ask her to do something? Does she really mean that she has no desire to be with me? I know that she feels that now, but is it truly hopeless? I need to proceed with caution. So I'm asking for anyone and everyone to give me some advice...maybe some encouragement if warranted.
