W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[25yearsmlc]

I forgot to add. When we wrapped up our conversation, we embraced for several long seconds and my W said "thank you for telling me".

You feeling better DOES matter. Not sure how DBing or "not DBing" it all was. Parts of it seemed to help you both, staying calm and expressing things never said OR heard by the other, before, correct?

That's progress in my book.

I disagree, In part, with your c's statement or inference that your w "deflected" from talk about the OM.

To your w, OM is not the issue or problem. He's the RESULT of it.

Hence the importance of YOUR sharing your private experiences

and the importance of LL talk and what you both have learned.

Now when she sees that the grass isn't so green on the other side, she can ALSO think that maybe it IS greener on your side, now that you "water it more" b/c you have changed,

and you two understand each other better. Seeds may have been planted.

That's a goal, right?


But 2t, IF you become the man you want to become,

if you make this struggle up the mountain and you finally,

after some falls and slides, and painful scrapes,

IF you ultimatly get to the TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN and are the man YOU NEED/WANT TO BECOME...

and she believes this

BUT does not want you, then so be it.

You'll have to accept that and move on gracefully, and hey, it COULD happen.

But in my opinion,

it's rare that a WAW keeps on going, when there are kids involved,

AND

she honestly believes the changes in her spouse are real and lasting.


It's possible, but rare. And you'll have to deal with it IF it comes to that. But we are far from that point right now. Far from it...