I would really stop talking about this to family and friends as soon as possible. Come here to vent and ahare. I know the temptation. I also know it does not help esp in the longrun.
As far as people telling you it's hopeless, they see you hurting and they care about you. They want that hurt to go away and the only path they see is for you to move on. Honestly, the less said to them the better.
As to whether you should have any hope or not, that's all in your court. There is always hope in life. How the story ends remains to be seen, but do you really want a life without hope? I know you are tallking about the specific hope for your M, but how different is that than hope in general? We hope that we will make a difference in our lives and that we will love and be loved. Then we take actions that lead us in those directions.
If you were to plot a course to lead you towards the things in life you value most (right now, it doesn't include your W), what would that look like? What steps, no matter how small could you take today that would send you in that direction?
No, you aren't nuts for wanting her back and still loving her. I think there are alot of though questions you need to look at and I understand that you might not be in a place to do that yet.
It took me awhile and honestly, over time, not only the answers, but the questions changed.
I'm really sorry today is such a tough one for you.
