new to this..

[learning2listen]

Things continue to be rough, I have spent the weekend struggling not to contact my H, and made it.. it was incredibly hard. SO last communication was Thursday...

I had a long time friend come see me last night and he was brutally honest. and said he sees the life has just been sucked out of me.. He remembers me to be happy and life just bubbling out of me.. I vaguely remember that woman. But I cant find her.

I really dont know what happened but i am trying to find happiness and strength within myself. I will not let all of this destroy who I am. I will not let one person take away my desire for happiness.

my h has severe mood swings, and though they have not been directed at me in the past they are now, I cant make him see this, it is something he has to do. I am just rambling at this point..

My H always told people how happy he was, how much he loved his family, how lucky he was, then the stresses of the economy hit us quite hard and he bolted. These are his issues. I am not sure that I understand them, and since he isnt opening up to me I can only work on my and make me better.