Wanted to let you know that my stbx and I have very little contact now.
There's just not point in it given he's with someone else, as far as I see it.
Also the divorce is getting complicated so he has no desire to even talk to me about anything, and I get glares when he's in the driveway to pickup the kids or definite attitude.
I've read in two instances that when a couple is still fighting like this and has such hard feelings towards one another, that they're still VERY MARRIED and actually shouldn't divorce! Why? Because there are many many unresolved conflicts going on that really should be dealt with as much as possible. And the best way to divorce is really to walk away with a mutual understanding and wishing them all the best and really mean it.
Well I know every single one of us LBS, and then WAS or MLCers ARE NOT doing that. They leave because (in their mind) it's all the LBS fault, they're unhappy and need to find them selves, and are spewing in between being nice. Well us LBS...we're doing the same thing! No wonder it takes so long and there is so much hurt.
I guess what hurts is my stbx husband can hold a grudge and not let things go...... forever. He's still mad at his mom for things that happened when we was 15 years old. He still mad at me for things that happened 20 years ago. He's not very forgiving. He loves to forget, pretend it didn't happen, sweep it under the carpet, not deal with it, and deny things, but when that pile gets so tall he trips over it and BAM!!! Unresolved issues flying all over the place and overwhelming emotions that weren't dealt with.
I like what Cadet had to say. I wish I could find what HB had to say about vanishers and total opposites.
This MLC thing really is interesting. Im a total psychology junkie anyway.
