Are you guys done with all legal stuff? I think in my case were the legal things all done AND were there not the occasional catastrophe (recent hurricane and my cat's death) my XH and I would be at far less contact. I expect there to be no contact now that we had our sort of "goodbye" talk.
When you say you are still looking for hope that he will wake up one day, I was talking to someone about hope the other day and she said that hope has a function...that it might be the thing we "cling" to even if logically/intellectually it's a crazy thing to cling to, but we do it because we aren't strong enough yet to go without it.
I mean, if all of us here hadn't had hope that they'd come back in the months after bomb drop, would any of us survived?? I'd say that hope in that notion only becomes a problem if it interferes with your ability to have relationships and move on...and I dont even mean just romantic relationships, but relationships and closeness in general with others, and moving on with your life instead of crying every day looking at old pictures :-)
I went off the other day about how I was going to not have hope anymore about XH and I reconciling and I already think I'm back to holding onto a shred ;-) I think I lost the hope that it would be any time in the foreseeable future, and that's giving me space to think about life without him more clearly, but I'm never going to say never. Who knows?
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
