I have not checked in for a while. I do Thank you for all the advice. I thought I would journal and then give a few pointers to the people that are newer to this phase in life.
Anyway, I posted a few weeks back that H mentioned moving back home. I put the brakes on that, and we are back to status quo. We talk everyday and spend all weekends together and maybe a week night. H had an out of state afair, belch. I did everything wrong from the get go. Months later, I told him to leave. Now, he wont leave...blah blah blah
My advice for newer poster (I have divorcebusted 2x's now.) I am posting my thoughts in a random order
- don't loose yourself in the roller coaster - TIME IS YOUR FRIEND (6 months min) - When the coaster first starts, relax, again time is on your side - If another person is involved, it has NOTHING to do with you, so stop fighting it - take care of yourself (I lost 40lbs in 2 months and got very sick) - Make the changes for only YOU!!!! - BECAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU PRAY FOR, CRY FOR, BEG FOR AND WISH FOR, you will probaly get it. - Know that yor spouse hasn't changed or done the work you have - THINK- before the "bomb" ask yourself honestly: Did I like the person that I was married to? Did I think about divorce myself? Did I go into panic mode because I was the LBS?
-Don't settle because they say they are sorry and want to come back -Watch your WAS carefully. Mine is making HUGE changes based on the new me. When he says something that hurts my feelings, I ignore and ask him to repete himself. Gives him a second chance to rethink what he just said -Know if they never come back.....everything alawys works out -Know if they do come back, you might really not want them back - Know THEY said that YOU need change, and when you do, they have not
Good luck all~
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
