I have been married for almost 10 years. My husband cheated on me 7 months ago and it was a 6 month relationship. I have move pasted that, we are trying to hold it together and it is not going well. He still thinks the grass is greener on the other side and I THINK, not sure he now want to seperate. I want to continue to work on saving our marriage. We are in therapy, but he feels like he just gets beat up there. Between work, our 2 boys ages 7 and 5, and our rocky marriage he feels like he just can not continue working on things. He feels like things are getting worse not better. I fell like this is a process that we have to work through, but his foot is out the door. I do not know what to do to stop it. We are having A TALK tonight. I am not sure what is going to happen. I need some support and advice. I want to save us so bad!
Start doing what makes things better for him and stop doing what's not working. Find a different therapist if he's just feeling beaten up by it.
You need to search for what you can change about yourself to make your marriage better, if you want to save it.
It's awful that he cheated and it's awful to have a rocky marriage and young kids, and all here will sympathize with you. But sympathy is no solution, and you've got to get to working looking for and accepting your role, and making change happen.
I would suggest in your "TALK" that you validate his feelings and defer any decisions as much as possible. Just listen and try to understand him. You'll get other help here from better experts than me. I realize your "TALK" probably already happened, and I hope you're doing OK. Try to buy time, that is your best hope right now. Good luck...
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
We never talked. He just came home and was so sweet to me. Really loving. But we got in a huge fight last night because i felt like i was not getting attention oh and i was drunk. He got up and left this morning. He said he cannot do this anymore but i am not sure what that means. He did not take clothes and is coming back to take the kids fishing. He walked in and would not speak to me, just took the kids. I feel like i really messed up. I do not know what is happening. I am so very lost.
Welcome. Your posts will be monitored for a while, so don't get discouraged if they seem to be slow showing up.
What are the ages of you and H?
What were his complaints before the A?
If he feels that the therapy sessions are beating him down, he will finally refuse to attend. His affair was based on the OW making him feel better about himself. He will not want to be around others who make him feel like a failure.
Right now, I would suggest that you not have R talks with him.
Have you read the Divorce Remedy book?
Come back as often as possible and build up your support group here.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
We never talked. He just came home and was so sweet to me. Really loving. But we got in a huge fight last night because i felt like i was not getting attention oh and i was drunk. He got up and left this morning. He said he cannot do this anymore but i am not sure what that means. He did not take clothes and is coming back to take the kids fishing. He walked in and would not speak to me, just took the kids. I feel like i really messed up. I do not know what is happening. I am so very lost.
So what happened when he brought the kids back?
Again -- just give it a few days, he was probably hung over and feeling just as bad about his own actions as he was yours.
I think she said SHE was drunk...did I misread that?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
