Asking for Help / Advice Please

[sandi2]

Welcome aboard. You're in a stitch that will require a lot of work, and mostly time.

I'm planning on texting again in a week or so to make contact again.

What do you plan to say in these conversations?

Have you told your W that you are working to get her back? If not, I would suggest that you not tell her anything like that, okay? She is going to have to see proof that you're not going to return to old habits. She is going to have to see that you are the better option for her. That includes being better than OM.

I would suggest that you not do a lot of talk about you. That comes across to women as bragging, and not attractive. If she asks a direct question about your drinking, for example, give her a direct answer. Don't talk about you doing it to get her back.

Talk to her about "her" and show interest in what she does during her day. Never say anything negative about her decisions, actions, or feelings. That will lose a lot of ground , if you do. You have to be more like a cheerleader in her corner, but a very manly cheerleader (lol). Giving support, a shoulder, and an ear whenever she needs one. After the first two contacts, the wait to see if she contacts you. If she doesn't.....then that means you will have to give her more space than you thought. If you push her, you'll lose her as a friend.

So, it will take a long period of time for this to prove out, in her eyes. She is with OM b/c she thinks that's what she needs right now. If you try to bad-mouth OM, she will only pull back from you. She will have to make her decisions to end her A with OM, not b/c of what you say....but b/c she wants to be with the man you've become.

IMHO, you can't afford to act like her H, at this time. She doesn't think of you that way. So, the best route for you to take is to win her friendship, first. Your ultimate goal is to have her back as your lover and W. But, first things first.

So now, what do you plan to say in that conversation?