W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[bustorama]

BTW, re: the new EA/A evidence, has it changed your view in any way re: exposing or saying to W that you are not OK with it? Sometimes recognizing the depth/intensity of the EA/A attachment motivates the LBS to take steps to disrupt it.

you think his wife believes he's okay with it? She knows he knows.

What is the evidence that she knows he knows?

Or you just think his telling others about it, will somehow make her feel all better and return to him

I think we have a misunderstanding. I didn't say anything about exposing to (uninvolved) 3rd parties. I was referring to exposing TO W that H knew what was up. Sometimes, if the OM is married, exposing to W of OM also can have an effect.

I also didn't ask 2point to do do anything. I asked him if seeing the new evidence had changed his view on things, because seeing firsthand, confirmatory evidence of an EA/A can be a powerful emotional experience.

Re: arguments of authority ('we veterans'), I think there are honest differences of opinion by experienced people on how to handle EA/A's. Sometimes, intervention immediately disrupts the EA/A, sometimes it drives the EA/A underground or intensifies/justifies the EA/A.

She has NOT had time to process this decision or its' impact...

I think I differ with you here. The question as I see it is whether 2point is ok or not ok with telling his W he knows she is having an EA. Her recognizing the impact/consequences of her choices does not happen in a vacuum. Her H's reactions to her choices is one of the potential consequences. Based on his message, he is still OK with not telling her.

Buster, How did it work for you?

When my W exposed to me that she knew I was having an EA and confronted the OM of W with same information, the EA stopped.

I have seen cases where the opposite happened as well.