First time here

[adinva]

Start doing what makes things better for him and stop doing what's not working. Find a different therapist if he's just feeling beaten up by it.

You need to search for what you can change about yourself to make your marriage better, if you want to save it.

It's awful that he cheated and it's awful to have a rocky marriage and young kids, and all here will sympathize with you. But sympathy is no solution, and you've got to get to working looking for and accepting your role, and making change happen.

I would suggest in your "TALK" that you validate his feelings and defer any decisions as much as possible. Just listen and try to understand him. You'll get other help here from better experts than me. I realize your "TALK" probably already happened, and I hope you're doing OK. Try to buy time, that is your best hope right now. Good luck...