W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[2thepoint]

Trust me on this. She thinks you are there wanting a reconciliatoin b/c you make it obvious. She knows you are waiting around.

I don't think I make it too obvious. I've made a concerted effort to avoid pursuit but she does know that I want a reconciliation or at least I don't want a D.

Unless you blow it by losing your temper, she will count on you as her back up plan.

((If you lose your temper she'll tell herself that you'll throw things in her face the rest of her life, and there's no point in her trying again and it will likely be over. So be calm and leave the house if your temper is going to control you.))

Good advice! Fortunately, I have a pretty long fuse and it hasn't blown yet. I'm wounded to my core but I have not gotten visibly angry. Hurt, yes. Angry no.

BTW, re: the new EA/A evidence, has it changed your view in any way re: exposing or saying to W that you are not OK with it?

No, I don't think so. I've been very deliberate about not saying anything about this, particularly to my brother-in-law when he was completely baffled by my W's behavior ("what could possibly be driving her to do this?" "I don't know. I guess she got tired of my controlling ways and couldn't take it anymore"). Both my IC and DB coach have commended me for restraining myself in this regard. It has been very hard though, don't get me wrong. There are times when this news would have come in quite handy when having to defend my actions with others and my W, but I've just bite my tongue.

So we didn't tell the boys today. Got caught up in sporting activities and actually just got home. BTW W joined us for S13's soccer game, (brought S9 and his friend). Then when the game was over and everyone on the team and their parents were going to enjoy BBQ , W bows out in favor of shopping and leaves me with S9 and his friend. This was pretty selfish behavior on her part if you ask me. But I just roll with the punches and we all have a good time.

I think tomorrow is going to be D-day on W's B-day, (oh what irony!). I suspect we'll wait till later in the day to break the news to the kids. W's sister already has stated that she doesn't think W will be able to do this, and I tend to agree. I think she'll fall apart and I'll be the one to have to break the news and then pick up the pieces.

Ugh!