What do I do next?

[Telemark]

lh49, I am very sorry to read this. I know the pain and despair you are feeling. There is no good answer to the question of "Why?" It is the ultimate selfish act, and the only consolation I can give you is that there is probably nothing you could have said or done to prevent it. You will feel like your self-respect and self-esteem have been destroyed; that is normal. Fight the urge to think about your W and the OM.

How did you find out? Do you know how far your W's involvement with the OM has gone?

All you can do now is to focus only on you and your kids. Don't bring up the OM with your W; do not acknowledge his existence. He is not worth your breath or anxiety.