Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
Do you really feel like you are being taken advantage of? Or are you reacting and unconsciously thinking of punitive action on your W?


I'm sorry. I'm not really sure what you mean by this.

I didn't intend to make it sound like that I'm being taken advantage of. What I meant to imply was that I am confused and wondering if she is just being nice for the benefit of having someone watch the kids and pay her medical stuff. She also just lost her job, so she may be coming back to old reliable me to make herself feel better because she needs to feel wanted. To be fair, she may not be doing this at all.

I tend to analyze situations and look at all the possible scenarios. This is a good thing to do in my profession...not so much in this situation. It doesn't help that a lot of trust has been broken with the affair and other things.

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I would be with my kids every day if I could, but I can't. Personally, I would consider it my gain. While you may feel like a babysitter and you're enabling your W... you could simply change your perspective of having quality time with your kids...


Again, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I LOVE having my kids with me. My concern is that she may be using me to watch the kids while she goes out and parties, dates, etc. Sometimes it gets a bit frustrating when I'm "doing her a favor" by watching the kids and she's out doing god knows what. It hurts.

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Unless you feel you need to go dark for your own personal, emotional security... then just keep doing what you're doing...


I feel like I should go dark for a number of reasons:
1.) I don't want it to seem as if I'm pursuing.
2.) I don't want to be around so much that I overwhelm her to the point that she panics and runs away.
3.) Last time we started talking like this she said that she really didn't want to but she felt guilty and sorry for me, so she did anyway.
4.) When we did this last time we ended up trying to work on "us". She then came back and said that I manipulated her into working on us.
5.) I do not have any clue how to read any of what's going on. If I back up a bit, and she still initiates contact, then maybe I can get a better read on it.
6.) If she is being nice simply because I'm paying for things then she will eventually disappear again until she needs something else. This is not easy for me so I am trying to protect myself from unnecessary pain. I'll never get over her if I keep letting myself be strung along.

Simply, I just don't know what is going on.

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but I don't see a problem "lending" her the money for the dentist...


Let's be honest here...I'm still madly in love with her. I can't stand to see her in pain. I know I'll never see a dime of this money again. I don't care about the money, I care about her.