I know we hear only one side of the various stories here, but from what you have shared I believe that your XH sounds like he's not carefree but carrying an extremely heavy burden through this.
You, like most of the LBS, are so far out in front of him in terms of growth, progress and healing.
After the initial trauma settles, most of us seem to dig in and start to uncover and own our parts in the breakdown of our marriages. We look at issues that would never even occur to us if this hadn't happened. We make connections and more of the puzzle pieces start to fall into place.
It appears that your XH is an avoider if possible. His pain is evident as he tries to out run it.
It caught up to him for a while because there was no escaping the loss of your kitty as he faced it head on. IMO it was probably the most honest he's been since his journey began. He's still on the rollercoaster of confusion and emotional turmoil as he deals with his choices and in some instances still tries to justify them.
Hard to tell from an email but it does sound like his mask that slipped while he peeked out of the tunnel is back in place for the time being.
I tend to think that the thoughts and feelings that are occurring to him are like a firestorm in his head.
I agree with AJ, Antonia. There is a definite change in you. Confidence, grace and dignity are displayed in your strength as you continue forward.
Congrats on your recent contact by the subject of your book. Very exciting stuff!
Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us.
