In my last post, I mentioned something about my wife needing me to watch the kids because the pain pills she was taking make her drowsy. What I did not mentions that I bought those pills and an antibiotic for her....and some gas. She went to her dentist appointment on Friday and they told her they would have to pull the tooth and to come back on Saturday.
Saturday morning she text messaged me and asked how she was going to pay for her dentist appointment today. Let me rewind a couple days...I told her if she needed to see a dentist I would pay for it...which she said no...then I told her to let me know if she changes her mind.
Back to present day, I wasn't expecting to pay for Saturday's appointment, but I called the dentist and had them put it on my card. They called back to tell me the total and that they are not going to pull it, but they are going to do something else instead. The mentioned that my W told them that her husband would be taking care of the bill...she actually acknowledged that we are married.
She is now communicating with me more. She gives me little updates here and there and she sends me pictures of the kids everyday. Her text messages are less formal and slightly personal (i.e. I asked her a question and she responded with "no, silly"...like old times). She also calls me when it has to do with the kids...which she could easily text. One time she called me, I ignored it. She called me a minute later, I ignored it. Then she called me again, so I answered thinking it was an emergency... it wasn't.
I'm thinking this is all fine and dandy, but tonight she asked me to watch the kids because her and her mom are going somewhere. I've had the kids every night (except Friday night...which my oldest stayed at a friend's house) this week. Now I get them until Wednesday. I offered to let the W have the kids for a couple days since she didn't get to see them this week. She said that she gets to watch them all day (remember, she was fired from her job so she watches them rather than me taking them to daycare) and they sleep at my house at night. So she's cool with that.
So here is where I need some advice...It seems to me that I'm being treated more like an ATM machine and babysitter service. We started talking a day or two before she had the tooth problem, so I can't say with 100% certainty that she is just being nice so I'll pay for everything. Her mother does this stuff to her dad all the time. She feels he owes it to her. I feel like that: a.) I didn't leave, my W did. b.) I didn't get fired from my job, my W did. c.) I pay for all the bills we accumulated as a couple, and I still pay for her car insurance and other goodies. d.) I lost health insurance because of this.
All I know is that she is nice to me right now, but she's also getting medical bills paid, and free time as I'm watching the kids. Which brings me to my next point. My head is going crazy thinking about her going out with other guys and stuff while I'm watching the kids. Even tonight, she's going out with her mom...it's late, so I know they are hitting up the bars. I ran across her profile on two dating sites. I told her she didn't have to lie to me about that stuff. She told me that she's thinking of taking them down because the only people that reply are [censored] or [censored].
My emotions are going crazy. My brain tells me to pull back and go dark...not fully dark like before, but enough to make her pursue me if she really wants to talk to me. Is this the right thing to do? I'm afraid that me paying for her dental stuff can be perceived as pursuing. I'm sure many of you have gone through this exact situation or something similar. How do you tell if it's real progress? Is going dark again a good thing? Being around her again and not knowing what is really happening is bringing out a lot of pain again. I want to run away, but I also don't want to mess this up if this is real progress.
