Looking for the silver lining...

[AJM]

IB, that is not normal, although not uncommon. I know countless people that do that. I can tell you that I sometimes joke about the multiple women I dated, when asked questions. I joke by saying, "which one?". But people that know me, know that is not me. That is me with low self-esteem poking fun at something (I was also very upfront with the women I dated at the same time - always give the respect you want to receive.) I do not joke like that any longer and only joked like that for a short period of time.

I can say that there are many people that believe that is how they should interact. I know lots of women that sext and send graphic pics to men (and women). I know a lot of women that think that sex is a way to feel wanted. They "expect" sex after a certain amount of dates.

I've been the fourth girl in conversations (not kidding). I blushed several times when I heard some of what they said about men. I was a Marine for years, and have never heard some of that stuff.

I do still joke about that. To me they have static in the head.

What I tend to see is that people, often not long after their divorces, tend to revert to high school like behavior. Except that people have adult bodies and nobody to answer to. To some extent I did for a little while.

I find it repulsive when faced with those situations. And I have gone home many times by myself because I did not want to be part of that.

After I came to terms with the situation, I realized more clearly that I wasn't being true to me. Thankfully that crazy time was minimal and only lasted a short while. Because that is not me and I do not think it appropriate to sleep around nor do I think that sex is a good substitute for companionship.

I was in a loving and committed relationship for close to 20 years. I know the difference between caring, loving intercourse and "sex" with an available partner. There is no way I can be with just anyone. I'm human, but I'm not an animal and I am not screwed up in the head nor a child. I have lots of friends that are not into that kind of thing and that understand that kind of behavior is between two committed people.

NLW, that is behavior that should be reported. It's often said that people become psych's to help themselves. That's a cry for help if I've ever heard it. The board should investigate that if that person works with kids especially. Don't wait. Contact them and let them know what you received and let them decide if that should be investigated or not. Let them help you decide if it should be a formal complaint or not.

IB, hang in there. I know it's difficult to watch the trainwreck, but it won't last. The dating scene has a lot of crazies, but they aren't all that way.

AJ