As I was reading through, my questions were EXACTLY the same as realormakebeliev's. We see things so clearly through our own eyes, but our partner has a completely different experience.
Your fastest way to working through things, is tell the story from her experience. Begin. You will find you can't (if you think you can, you are missing it, because you need to dig, and ask, and LISTEN).
When you LISTEN, listen to the WHOLE picture, not just her words. Do listen to her words, but pay attention to her nonverbals.
The tools are what you need, the skillset. Have you read Divorce Remedy? I recommend that or the Keeping Love Alive MP3 (depending on whether you learn best by reading or listening).
In the meantime, what you focus on expands. What are the good things between you at this point in time?
