A fork in the road - EA admitted by wife

[NYCPeter]

She will likely get permenant alimony (according to L) - it's up to the judge to decide how much there is no calculator (unlike child support).

But she can have the house---she'd just needs to buy you out, and have the mortgage be in HER name, and her salary and maybe a 2nd job, and your support can help pay that. (Yeah I bet she'll love that idea).

She thinks a combination of her parents, a tenant and the alimony / CS she will be able to afford it, which is possible BUT she cannot get a mortgage based on that criteria - she only works two nights a week and probably brings home $3-400. In theory no mortgage company wants a tennant anyway - you are breaking the contract.

Our mortgage / taxes combined come to $3.5k a month - with current strict lending, you need 8-9k a month income.

you STILL have to back off otherwise. No pursuit or ILY's and NO ANGER....NONE...BE CALM--180 GALORE...

I know - I will do this, I WILL DO THIS.

Just the underlying feeling it's all too late. During one of our previous R talks - I asked her if the last few months had been like the rest of our M would she still be seeking a D. She said no - I asked her to think of our M as starting a few months ago. It was bad DBing, but she knows our M has been better - why still look for an exit?