A fork in the road - EA admitted by wife

[2thepoint]

NYCP - This was part of your post from yesterday morning:

Tonight we'll see what her reaction is after thinking about it all day - will she go out after work? How will she be when she comes home? If she gets close to me in bed again it can only be a positive sign, if she stays out all night and acts cold then I guess I have an answer.

So she came home, didn't say much but pretty much went straight to bed. Although she may have been a little cold, she did not go out last night as has been her habit of late.

So how do you interpret this?

The fact that there was no intimacy doesn't surprise me. The night before seems to have been a bit of an awakening for both of you. For you because you confirmed the EA. For her because she has been discovered and doesn't have to hide it any longer.

Now there is a new dynamic at play here and you and your W are going to need time to settle in.

I would continue to heed the advice of others to keep your mouth shut in matters related to the R. This will help you and your W. It certainly won't hurt.

In DR Michelle talks about looking for signs, watching and waiting, etc. This is your time to watch and wait.

In my sitch as you've been reading, my W is a giant bag of mixed emotions and wants me out and NOW! On the surface it would appear things are not changing.

But, if you look closely, things are changing! 4 weeks ago she was sobbing uncontrollably and when I went to hold and comfort her, she emphatically said No!, Stop!, and pushed me away.

However, the other day after what I thought was a pretty good weekend filled with signs of progress, she was having another episode of uncontrollable sobbing. Although her "you need to get out" message was even more emphatic, she let me hold her and comfort her. To me that is a clear sign of progress!!!

Look for the little signs along the way. They may be fleeting, but if you look for them, cherish them and continue to do those things that produce those signs, you may start to see more of them and more often.

Wishing you the best!