Husband Left....

[Hopeful321]

Journaling:

Well, my H left this morning for TN. He text me to remind that he would be out of town this weekend and wanted to drop our D's stroller off to me. I didn't think that was necessary, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Because I wanted to see him. He came over last night and stayed about 15 mins. We talked about his therapy appt that he had yesterday. She put him on Zoloft for his depression and aniexty. He did say he asked her why was he so angry at the world and depressed. It's coming from his childhood.

When he was leaving last night, I walked him to the door. We stood there and talked another 5 minutes or so. I was hoping for a hug at last, but nothing. Then he told me what his female coworker told him yesterday. She said "Dont forget to take condoms". I asked him why would she say that. He didnt say but left right after. So, all night long this was going thru my head. So I text him this morning and this is what I said:

"Something has been bothering me since last night. The remark that you made about the condoms. I would appreciate it if you would keep comments like that to yourself. It was hurtful and I don't want to think of my husband that way. I just wanted you to know".

His reply back to me:

"I understand. The second it came out and I saw your reaction, I said, uh oh. wrong comment. It really was a joke, but I understand you still get the thought/visual when thats said. I apologize. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings;-)

And that is about it.

[Accuray]

Yeah, that comment he made was not acceptable, that's rubbing salt in a wound. In what world would that be a joke?

Hard to say if it's better to stand up for yourself and let him know it bothered you, or to just blow it off and not dignify it, but what he did was definitely way over the line.

Sorry Hopeful, you deserve better treatment than that. Keep focusing on yourself and don't look to H for validation.

--Accuray

[workinghardguy]

I think you did the right thing Hopeful. Just because R talk is not something we should be dabbling in, doesn't mean we have to let them walk over us or allow THEM to remind US about it either.

A few weeks back my W was volunteering for a fall fun day at our S's school. She got the parent volunteer list and saw they were all moms. She made the joke/comment to me, "geez, you should've volunteered, could find yourself a nice single mom <laugh>". Granted that's not nearly as crass as what your H said. I let it go and didn't comment, but I regret it a little. I just couldn't come up with something that seemed an appropriate comeback. I think what you said was pretty spot on.