You don't owe the people on this board anything, we're here to help you. I also don't think you went against the advice on this board -- people tried to share with you what might happen, and I would say you DID follow the advice by being calm and rational about it.

Your confrontation above looks like it went about as well as it could have gone, and it sounds like you ruled out a PA which undoubtedly gives you some degree of comfort.

It does sound like your W is relieved by having things out in the open, but it also doesn't sound like she agreed to end things with OM. That might be the tough part going forward.

You also got some insight into the fact that she's still on the fence. If you can DB perfectly between now and the 15th, things MAY go your way even more.

It will be tempting to "throw it in her face" and try to make her feel guilty by slipping in little comments here and there. That will NOT make you feel better despite the anticipation, and will greatly derail your efforts. That's where you have to be very careful going forward. Do NOT bring up any comparisons between how she treats OM and how she treats you. You need to stay away from those discussions entirely.

Great job NYCPeter, you handled that extremely well

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015