actually, for the online dating world, 1 in 5 is great!
G, I just sent one today so it doesn't really count, so I'm one in four really! I enjoy sitting down looking at who the lady is and presenting what I think will appeal to her. No lying or fudging, just individualizing my approaches. I don't do "hi, check out my profile, hope there's a connection" and I'm sure ladies get tons of those. The Filipino woman responded to my humorous headline and my Tagalog. The first email I sent out to a lady I would write differently now. I'm learning!
Yesterday I went for a visit to my therapist. I go when I feel the need or I have something I want to bounce off her. Yesterday we talked about self-esteem, I mentioned that some people on DB see my humour as self derogatory. I also told her that inside me there's a strong feeling that I'm not worthy, unloveable, undesirable and I really hate that feeling! We talked about my adventures in online dating too. She said that I'm a perfectionist and if I find something I percieve as a flaw in myself I wipe out all my good qualities. It's all or nothing! She then said "you're a very desirable man" and then whipped off a whole list of qualities any woman would find attractive. here's what I remember: have a good job, not just looking to get laid, have your own place, kids are healthy and happy, you're financially sound, you've got interests, you're spiritual, good communication skills, you can actually talk about your feelings, attractive, kind, responsible, funny, outgoing, fun loving, have a good R with ex, fit, independent, happy.... Wow, that's quite the list! She said that I have internalized my mother who, while I love her dearly, is one of the most critical people on the planet! So, there's work to be done.
Yes, the voice of Mom! Here's a small taste of Sh*t My Mom Says. On Monday, when I went to help her hand out Halloween treats, I told her I was doing this online dating thing and she says "maybe you should take a course and meet somebody there" read: online dating is bad. I told her about the one woman I got a positive response from and she said "Oh no, not another Filipino!" Read: "what's wrong with you, son!" And that's just the tiniest of tastes. Mom's the best at what she does! I still laugh when I remember a few months ago when my brother, sister and I were going somewhere and brother was driving. Mom was carrying on about his driving (she doesn't know how to drive) and brother said "Mom, I mean this in the most loving of ways, shut up!"
Hey, come to think of it, Mom hasn't liked any woman I've been involved with since Voldemort! When I started seeing MM she said "You be careful, she might be after something" I said "she's not after anything, I'm the one who's been chasing her" Mom says "Oh, sure". I remember when I was having coffee with CB and I told Mom about this really touching conversation CB and I had. CB had told me what a strong man I was and how she admired me for hanging in there so long with my wife etc. Mom says "she said those things to you? She's buttering you up for something" Yup, no woman could like me for being me, they must be wanting to use me for something! Sheesh, may be time to keep my dating life from my Mom...when I have one again!
Hey, we're rolling again. We're up to 21 now. I received two emails, one from a forty year old lady and one from a pumpkin. Apparently there is a vast range of life forms that are attracted to me. The forty year old has 5 year old twins and a 7 year old. Those days are done for me! The pumpkin I'm not sure about and I'm not checking the profile.
