Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

Oh Brookie, that was a beautiful post, and I am so thankful for your insight and kindness. My mom is here now and I read this to her earlier tonight. And thank you too, IB. I read my mom a lot of posts. She is so struck by the people here and how supportive everyone is. This is a blessed place.

I am up again late, the sleeplessness is just terrible, but I think it's just the shock of everything and I hope that in a few days I'll be able to get back on a schedule.

I just went to look up a friend on FB and my XH's page popped up (same first initial) and I saw that he changed his profile picture on FB from the constant pics of him and OW to a pic of our little boy. I never expected that. It's strange to think he is allowing something from his "former life" to be put out there so publicly. This is a pic of the kitty on OUR bed, wrapped in our comforter (which I still use). Does OW see what I see?

One thing that XH was grieving most deeply when I saw him was that he had not seen our boy alive since he was last here in January. Well, I took videos of him during the past 10 months. In fact, I took videos of his mother, the first sick cat, within hours of his death, not knowing she would survive and he would die, and he is in them.

I am wondering if I should offer a copy of these videos to xh. Should I just put it in the mail? Should I ask first if he wants it? Or should I just let it go? I have asked myself my motivation of why am I thinking about doing this, and the only thing I can come up with is that I think it might help him with the grieving process and closure. But I don't know if my doing this is an act of grace or is it interference in a process that he has to face alone.

I won't make any snap decisions. This requires me to download the most recent video and watch it, and I don't know if I am ready to. But I would like your opinions on whether this is appropriate.