OK, lets stipulate that there is OW with whom your H is having an EA/A with. So what? I don't say that to be flip, but really, what can you do about that in the context of DB? Not much really.
My W is most certainly having a long distance EA and quite possibly a PA. It is what I believe is driving her current behavior and desire for me to be out of the picture. I've known about this for almost 2 months now. I mentioned it once early on and never again.
See, I can't "make her stop". She has to stop her self or the EA/A has to run its course for my W to finally see things for what they are.
Just like we say with DB, you can't make your spouse not separate or D. Your spouse will make that decision in the time and place of their choosing.
So, all you can do is continue working on you. Save the energy you might otherwise spend on uncovering an EA/A and use that energy to make yourself a better version of the old you. Then watch for signs that your H is coming out of the fog. It will take a very long time. If you have the stamina, it may prove to be worth the wait. If not, then you have other choices.
I think you have the stamina!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
