Back home, back at school ... had a lovely summer holiday. Could've done without the security at the airports though. So, H left the Sunday after we got back (Thursday). Nothing new there. I am still suffering from jet lag ... ugh!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
H got back from last trip, and will be leaving on Sunday night again, this time for about a month. It's my BD on Sunday. I'm not expecting anything. I think it's time for him to move out. We'll be spending Christmas together with 2 or 3 of our kids. Then back home for New Years. Then I think he must leave. I'm not doing this next year. I want to get on with my life, and if he's not going to be in it except as a room mate, then I'm not interested, and haven't been so for quite some time.
That's my thought for the night. I'm off to bed.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BeingMe, I think you know that he isn't going to change. You have been at this a very long time, and he continues to do as he has done. Perhaps if you take a hard line approach, it will change things. One thing is for sure, continuing doing as you have done won't work.
You are so right, Braveheart. I have also decided to not argue with him. When he says hurtful things (that I would normally respond, and it would end up in an argument), I just turn around and walk away. For some reason lately, whenever he would tell me something, and I say "uhuh", he thinks I'm saying it in a sarcastic way or some other negative way. I am so not ... just responding in a way that tells him I am listening. You just can't win. They're all loopy.
Today, I feel like I will never have another romantic R again. I might change my mind, but I'm sick of this weirdness. He seems to be copying me ... I take my wedding ring off, then he does ... I say my R is complicated on FB, then he does ... I am decorating my bedroom, then he does while I'm away, etc.
?bleh
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
H is away again, on the other side of the country. He phones me everyday, and strangely, has been quite friendly and speaks for longer than usual. I do try and be the one to end the conversation, but he beats me to it, sometimes. Not that I'm db'ing really. I don't think I would want him back now, but I do want a good R in terms of co-parent and co-grandparent. Also, we will be financially tied until one us dies, so there's no point in being difficult or bad friends.
I've done a lot of traveling this year, so with that and his own traveling, we've barely seen each other. Probably a good thing. I'm learning to do without him ... visiting friends on my own, children/grandchildren, and I find it quite fun. I can be myself, and not be worried about what I say or do. He can still be quite caustic in his remarks sometimes which seriously irritates me, but since I am trying for a peaceful R, I tend to ignore them.
I am still studying ... taking Intro. to Geography, Drama Writing, and Feature Article Writing. I had forgotten about some of the math one needs to do in Geography ... mapping, for instance, so not doing too well. It's just an elective, so not too worried, as long as I pass it.
I am so glad for this forum. So many people have helped me over the past few years. Thanks y'all.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks for responding BH. Your words are always wise. I am aware that this may be the case, and I am working toward ending this by the end of this year. I do not want to start the next year stuck in this muck.
I feel sick when he comes home, and sick when he leaves, and nothing has been resolved. This is not healthy for me. It has turned into a R that works for him, but not for me.
Unfortunately, half isn't much at this moment. We would have to wait to sell the house because there is work to be done on it. I would need to get as much as possible out of it, in order to buy a smaller house. So, I am stuck right now, and I am not happy being so.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
