Do I stay or do I go?

[anyhope]

Yesterday went mostly well while moving, h came back after he got some tools to put my tv together and assemble furniture. I was really tired from moving and as time came for him to leave he said he'd like to have the dog every 2nd weekend.. I'm not sure I'm interested in giving him over even though he us our dog..

I took the dog for a walk as he left and started tearing up. He put his tools in the car and I just said bye and started walking. He said I could have given a kiss for the help so I blew him a kiss and kept walking. I don't think he saw me cry. He called me 2 min. later to update me on a hockey game score.. Like I cared. About 10-15 min later, I came in already and was already crying he sent me a picture text of him crying.. Didn't know what to male of it.. As per book rules I was to appear strong, but I was anything but. I sent him a pic back of me crying.

The pain was unbearable. I looked at his face, the face that I still love after all this and that's been beside me for the last 10 years of my life and felt like I could die not having him.. I tried to fall asleep early which I did but I woke up at 4:44 and was up turning and crying for an hour when I slowly fell asleep again.

Today's been ok sp far, but I've been busy. Ow posted that she was back at 1am last night, so I was wondering if she was at our house.. If I could fast forward my life I would so do it right now..