I understand. I also know that what will make you feel better sooneer is if you do something that takes care of you. If being constructive around the house is your thing, that's ok. The question is, what makes you feel better, even just a little, even for just a minute?
As far as you your friends go, the ones with families, well you might work it out so you can have some "Man time". The one who does nothing, might be enticed, or go over there. Broke isn't really an issue when it comes to hangin' with your friends (or never has been for me). I remember going to a local place when I lived in SoCal that was truly dirt cheap. We're talking $1.25 for food and my friend and I would bring a six pack of beer that wass all of about $2. And no, this wasn't in the mid 1900's.
When we couldn't afford that, we would get together and make pizza using "Prentendo" cheese. Yes this was an actual brand. Yes, it waas pretty disgusting and it didn't matter. It was cheap and we would play cards or whatever struck us. It engages your mind in something else. And if it's a good friend, they'll kick your butt if it needs it.
I know that all of this can take a long time to deal with. Do you actually want to deal with it? Preferably with people that have some positive energy? Or do you want this event to define you?
This isn't to say I don't still have moments. I do. The joke at my house is that I can cry at the drop of a kleenex. The power comes from not letting it stop me.
Failure is an event, not a person.
When you look at your friends, is there anyone you'd like to emulate? If not, take small steps towards people you might like to.
It's early for you and all this is hard. Remember to breathe.
