Living in the trenches....Thread #5

[workinghardguy]

One suggestion Navy... don't question her self-absorbedness. There's no point. It's highly unlikely that she'll say, "Gee Navy... you're right, I am so selfish, what am I thinking!".

What I've done with success so far is to simply tell my W what I want her to do. I don't accuse her of an agenda or being bad. I don't villify what has happened or she's done. I simply tell her the impact I see from her behavior and what I would like her to do. I should say this applies to everything except getting a divorce part of things. That's R talk and I leave it alone.

But my W was really getting terrible about paying the kids any attention when she is out, and she's out far more often than she ever has been. I got sick of picking up the pieces of broken heart when the kids, especially SS and SD, had to go to bed and had not talked to mom in two or three days. So I told my W that when she's out and doesn't call for days it deeply bothers the children, especially SS and SD. And that I would appreciate it if she would call the children, at least once a day events permitting, when she is gone.

I won't lie, this convo ticked my w off. But you know what? Since then she's called every night she's been away from the home and the kids are home. So, while she might be mad at me some still, at least I stopped having to glue hearts together because mom is on her way to another music drunkfest.