Got home last nigh W walked downstairs and said high. I said high back. She than tells me that one of our Ferretts died. He had cancer. She said they brought him to the Vet to get cremated. I asked if D found him. She said no that she saw him 1st. Glad W took the day off yesterday. Told D I was very sorry she said it was ok. We ate dinner together but did not speak. This morning she wished me a good day 1st as she drove D to school. Status quo svcks
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hey rick, Your'e right status quo does su7k. All i can say is hang in there and be strong. Do you have any good activities coming up today, tomorrow, this weekend?
Have an ACOA meeting tonight. Should be interesting, last one i went to was very heavy, alot of traumatized people. But, good information for me.
Hope your day turns out good rick, talk to you soon, Gunny
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Gunny good luck with the meeting. Hope you are feeling ok.
Journaling
Yesterday I looked at my emails and had an invite to Linkedin from a woman I interned with 16 years ago.I have been searching for her but could not find her in any of the social networks. She is in her early 60's and never liked computers. We spoke today after 16 years and found out that our supervisor died in 2009. The man was brilliant. She said she thinks of me often and tells stories about me to many people. We spoke about many things and asked about my family. She actually remembered my D's name. She said that God works in mysterious ways and that I must trust that he will be there for me and make things right for me. She said to call her often and at anytime I need to talk. This was God sent today since I have been very depressed latetly.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
A few weeks ago W had arranged for repairman to look at our furnace. They needed to come back a 2nd time. W said that they kept cancelling the 2nd appoinment. They have not returned. I have not asked W about what is going on. That is a huge 180 for me. No interrogating. I just go to the basement every other day and see if they did anything. However, the leak stopped so nothing to worry about.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Rick, I just wanted to drop in and let you know you're in my prayers. I read your post to me before I took a hike up to the top of big hill today. I had some solitude and prayer time on top of that big rock and you were on my mind.
Thanks for keeping me in your prayers JB. Last night I did something different. I started convo during dinner. She responded well. We talked about politics and I asked if she was voting next Tuesday. She said yes and I was surprised she even anwsered. She asked if I was voting also I said wasn't sure. She actually looked into my eyes and I into hers but I looked away after a few seconds as I was uncomfortable? I think there 2 possibilties. a) She is having 2nd thoughts b) She is happy that we will be D in 12 days and being nice.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Signed on to the board and saw so many new sitchs that dbmd pushed through. That is very sad state of how individuals see M. You would think that when one person in M has a condition (emotional/physical) that the other one would be there for support. But that does not seem to be the case. It is easier to walk. Wonder why would anyone want to do this ever again?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I think there 2 possibilties. a) She is having 2nd thoughts b) She is happy that we will be D in 12 days and being nice.
Yes, it could definitely be either. However, we have the freedom to choose the positive or the negative spin on anything. You might as well choose the positive. Not that you want to be oblivious to reality.
Today I'm feeling depressed and dispar. Was thinking that my outburst with W in June and July was the perfect exit time for her. See, I noticed that after she bought the horse about 2 years ago she became distant. At that time I bought her a new SUV. Been in that car 3 xs. We have not done any activities as a family in 2 years. So I guess she checked out along time ago. I also now know how resentful I was at how she had been spending her time. Too bad I was not aware of my feelings when I got angry at her. At the time I got angry I didn't care what she would do. I did not want to live like that anymore. The only difference now is that we don't sleep in the same bed, no Ml and no touching other than that everything else is the same. No matter how much I DB she won't change her mind. Guess I got what I wanted. So why do I feel like crapp?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
A few weeks ago W had arranged for repairman to look at our furnace. They needed to come back a 2nd time. W said that they kept cancelling the 2nd appoinment. They have not returned. I have not asked W about what is going on. That is a huge 180 for me. No interrogating. would it be a bigger 180 and more productive if you just handled it yourself and let her know you were taking something off her plate?
I just go to the basement every other day and see if they did anything. However, the leak stopped so nothing to worry about.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
