Back home - but for how long?

[NYCPeter]

It's confirmed my W has been lying all this time and I'm not paranoid - got to say that helps me.

D will be very hard emotionally and financially on all of us (me in particular as I will be away from my girls and I don't have family support in the States). Her parents will support her from a financial perspective.

By not confronting on the A - I am showing her I am weak, she is having the best of both worlds, financial support from me so she can be a SAHM and having sex with someone else.

I know I'm not thinking this through logically - but I can't continue as we are pretending I don't know. I'm showing myself disrespect. Is it pride - yes it is to a degree.

I can't get over how this is not my W - she is not this person but she's chosen this path to destruction.

So now I am faced with a stark choice.
1. Say nothing, continue to DB and hope the A runs it's course - disrespecting myself in the process.
2. Confront her - which will either
a. Move forward with her plans for D - which will devestate me but at least I am being honest with myself.
b. Shake her up and make her see things for what they are (I know - this only happens in the movies).