What do I do next?

[Accuray]

WRT your question above, my W had me convinced 100% that she was not coming back. I would have LOVED the movie ending where she comes crawling back with tears in her eyes begging me to take her back, but that's not how it works in real life unfortunately. Once people make a difficult and extremely emotional decision, they will do whatever they can to reinforce the choice they've made and get comfortable with it. They don't want to second guess and flip-flop, because that just brings more pain and torment. They go through that BEFORE they drop the bomb. Your W was retreating and coming back to you and going through those mental gymnastics before she told you she was leaving.

There is of course some of that afterwards as well, and they do harbor doubts about their decision, but their frame of mind is to make peace with it and move on. That's one of the many reasons DB is hard, it'd digging out of a hole in many ways.