Just a quick note. Situations such as yours are, in my own humble opinion, where DB is a bit weak. As long as there is another person in the picture there will be very little progress in restoring a relationship.
Believe nothing that she says and only half of what she does. From my perspective she wants you out of the house to ease her guilt and allow for unfettered access to her OM. Every day she sees you is a reminder of what she's doing wrong, not necessarily about your past. She's using your past behaviour to excuse her current poor choices. There is no excuse for what she is doing and deep down it is causing conflict.
Personally, I wouldn't move out and I wouldn't allow her more than 50% of time with the kids out of the house. Why you can't strive for that is a mystery to me as I saw my late brother singlehandedly raise 2 kids that way.
