not to quibble with sandi but to allay some fears...
in 98 one of my older brother "P" divorced his wonderful wife. She was crushed.
We (my siblings and mom) were shocked at his idiocy...I told him it was a "huge mistake" and so did the rest of us. He had gotten lucky marrying her and would never do better. OMG we laid into him but he did NOT listen to us.
Finally I said, "Look, I won't refuse contact or disown you but you have to know I think you were a lousy h to her AND I love sil, so I'm staying close to her"...which my brother has seemed relieved about. I guess he feels less guilty b/c we do have contact and she didn't lose all of us.
BUT i also think he feels awkward b/c he knows I think he was SO WRONG to have left her and yet, SHE is happy now...so I'm letting go of my own issues with him.
In retrospect, I think what he really wanted, imo, was an extremely low maintenance w. The w he had was in the normal range, and was actually very independent. But she wanted his involvement with things like... raising their only child...wacky...
She is an Andy McDowell look alike, I vowed that sil would always be "like a sister" to me. And to an extent we really have stayed in contact well. I see her almost yearly for a vacation ...I literally see her more than I see HIM...
not to punish him but[i] b/c she and I make the effort. We also keep in touch with FB and she has remarried, and I really like the guy.
I stayed with them last summer when I attended a wedding...&
she is happier now than she could have been WITH my brother...fwiw
But 2t, my point was you can salvage something with inlaws...it'll be different but it's not all bad. I enjoy my sil ("ex sil" technically)
more now
b/c my brother isn't around and he put a damper on things. So there you go. [/i]
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
