Another crisis.....but H opening up now

[25yearsmlc]

This weekend we are going to retrouvaille.

I am full of anxiety. I suddenly am asking myself: Is he ready? I know I am, but what happens if my H is not?


OMG--Stop freaking out. We went. He is going. That's all you know. Oh well.

IF he's attending with you that means SHE IS NOT AN ISSUE FOR HIM...we attended it and we were both called for the 'interview"

and we were both asked about OPs...sure, he could lie. But does truly make sense?

Plus, you are turning a potentially beautiful experience into a BIG FAT DRAG...
have some hope/faith Angel...

WE went to Retrovaille and WE got a lot out of it. It started a bit slow but ended up exceeding our expectations...trust the process, and YOU DO YOUR work ONLY

...do NOT focus on what HE is giving or thinking or feeling... or what YOU think he is feeling/giving thinking.

Enough of the mind reading...it's SO NOT helping!


He says that his feelings for OW has waned. But he still talk to her. He says its just friendly talk.

He says he wants to stay in the M.

and...Why would he lie about this?

Why isn't this enough for now?

But in our last talk, just 2 days ago, he definitely told me that for him, trying to be friends is still a lot of effort. He feels that I push it by demanding we communicate,

So stop asking for verbal reassurances. just stop it. He's not comfortable with it. He's asking you to stop it so...stop it.

Neediness is not attractive and in a way - that's what he may be gently trying to tell you...

just like I demanded for him to be affectionate earlier in our M (I just asked if we could set aside a half hour 2x a week to connect). I just read today that after retrouvaille, dialogue is needed. How will H take that?

he'll take it just fine!

They know what they are doing. HE will see the value in follow up. So will you.

Stop letting fears ruin your life.

IT's not helping, it's not healthy, it's not happy BUT IT CAN BE contagious and a self fulfilling prophecy...

don't bring about the very things you fear, with all these anxieties of yours...calm down. Your m will NOT suffer due to Retrovaille. Trust me, worst case scenario is neutral.

We were with 25 other couples in crisis, 3 years ago, and 21/ 22 of them are still married.

Every marriage there was helped by Retrovaille. Every one of them...



I need prayers that somehow, he will be changed, his eyes will be opened by this weekend.

Whoah....how about YOU focus on opening YOUR HEART AND MIND...and let God handle the rest.

Really, you must NOT make your H YOUR Focus...you sound uber controlling right now. What's up with that?

This is for YOU BOTH to "rediscover" - which is what the word "Retrovaille" means in French...

so relax, and trust the process.