ROMB, I'm sorry to hear about the family issues. The 'ol helpful friends and family.
I may not be the best one to advise on this. I think everyone has their own family dynamic. So please take any of this with a grain of salt.
It sounds to me like you have a pretty good idea on how to handle your Mom. It sounds like it will be your job to manage that and to re-construct that bridge.
One side of his family does not sound like an issue. I don't see how you have much control over what his Mom does or what that side of the family does. All I can say is to be your best ROMB around them. Unfortunately, you have no control over what influence your H's Mom has over your H.
