W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[2thepoint]

Just got back from my Divorce Care meeting where today the topic of discussion was relationships after divorce. Here are a few statistics that came up. Working from memory here so not exact, but close...

76% of 2nd marriages fail
87% of 3rd marriages fail
95% of 4th marriages fail

Healing from divorce takes a very long time. The rough statistic is that it takes 1 year of healing for every 4 years of marriage. 2nd marriages that occur before sufficient healing has occurred almost always end in divorce.

We talked about healing being much more than getting over the hurt, anger, resentment, loneliness, etc. Specifically, forgiveness is critical for sufficient healing. If you can't forgive and be forgiven, you are doomed for more failure.

We also talked about how 2nd marriages are even more painful than first marriages when they fail. People who enter into 2nd marriages are fearful of additional failure and so they tend to stay in troubled marriages longer in the hopes things will get better which just makes the ultimate breakup even worse.

The topic of sex in relationships after a D occurs was discussed as well and they cautioned that relationships where there is sex is much more difficult to break away from if problems surface before or during the 2nd marriage.

So, just some good things for us all to consider as we journey forward.