A Bklyn tale

[2thepoint]

I know a popular question here is: How would an OW change how you feel? Well if H were telling someone else ILY - I would not file for D but I would be completely detached. It would be a whole different ball game. H told me this was all my fault but if he is ILW OW then this something else then what he claimed and it has very little to do with me.

Now wait a minute BM. I know you know this is not true. Sure, if he is having an A, he has some explaining to do. But, don't for a second think that you had no roll in this. We've discussed what has been absent or present in your marriage that may have been a contributing factor. So regardless of whether or not there is OW, you must still own up to your part in this and continue working on you. I know you know this. I just had to say it. :o)

H knows that I will be going to this large Thanksgiving and I think he will think the road home is rocky if this extended family knows our sitch. However I have to act as if I fully believe we are divorcing so why wouldnt I tell them. Should I tell H I am not telling extended family or just leave it and let him wonder?

It has been said before. Keep the road home smooth and paved. If your H is already concerned about a rocky road ahead if you decide to R. Why then would you also want to add potholes? The fewer people who know the details of your sitch, the less the separation gets set in stone and the easier it is for your husband to come back.

See, I need people to talk to about my sitch but the more I tell, the harder it is going to be for my W to come back. So I keep my mouth shut as much as possible because I want to make it as easy as possible for her to decide she wants to save our marriage. If she thinks she has been disparaged (justifiably or not) it will be a much harder pill for her to swallow if R is in the cards. See what I'm saying?