I'm still here part III

[~¤DG¤~]

I don't agree with the whole "It's not over until YOU say it's over" theory.

H can divorce me, move on, and marry someone else, and if it's still not over for me? That's not healthy. It's more living in denial and not letting go.

It's over because H has said it's over, and I have no choice but to accept his decision.
There isn't anything I can say or do that will change any of this.

I spent the majority of my lunch hour in a bathroom stall, crying. I also cried the entire way home from work and I'm crying now.

I'm absolutely hate myself right now.
I hate myself for being a complete moron and not treating him the way a wife should treat her husband.

I'm angry with him for breaking his promise to spend his life with me, and I'm mad at God for putting me on this earth in the first place.

Yes, I sound dramatic, and no I won't hurt myself.

This is just hell, and I can't seem to cope.