My heart is breaking for you, sweetie. I know that pain. It's in every part of your body, 24/7. I wish I had some soothing words to give you, but I don't.
Some people would say it takes guts for the WAS to decide to leave. I say bulls**t. It is the coward's way out. It is avoiding the hard work it takes to make a marriage complete. It is following immature, selfish desires without any regard for the lives that are damaged.
They are not worth our tears.
We cannot change what is happening. We cannot force our WAS's to love us, or to reconcile, or to see what horrible decisions they are making. We can only save ourselves. We can only learn to love ourselves and be proud of the fact that we took anything our WAS's dished out and still stood for our principles.
I_S, I do believe we will get better over time. The pain will lessen and we will be able to wake up and not immediately thing of the storm we are in. Right now, all we can do is let the pain and sorrow wash over us and accept it. We can try to stop thinking of OPs, of our WAS's insanity, of what we had in the past, because that is gone. It is a miserable, harsh reality but our marriages and spouses are history, just as we are to them.
We cannot let them control our lives any more. Let them live in the world they have created; we want no part of it.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
