- I agree I must have made my W feel so worthless with my complaints. I've got to figure out a better way to handle it when I am feeling at the end of my rope. I should have pointed out all the good I see in her before I got into discussing what was hard. I shouldn't have allowed myself, no matter how bad it was, to get to the point where I only could show my exasperation. No matter what I was receiving I should have been able to rise above a lower form of communication. Ironically,I got to the point where I would verbalize my disatisfaction because I felt so worthless to her (and ending up making her feel worthless). At least that's how I perceived her actions, that I could not have been worth enough to her for change.
- But YOU will need to do a lot of "owning up" for a while for her to trust that it won't all be about kicking her to the curb for her "once in a life time run for happiness" fantasy). This is your comment. What do you mean by "a once in a lifetime run for happiness fantasy"?
- my sons involvement in the EA, and poss PA. Two out of three of them found evidence of it and they were not looking. This smoking gun evidence was something they wished they never had to deal with but it happened. They agonized for quite some time about sharing it with me but in the end decided to. Mostly it was because their Mom tried to lie her way out of it when they spoke to her. They saw that going on, and saw me living as Mr Mom and felt I should know that I was being played. Their involvement only made things harder for the M, but I didn't even know about it. Remember the OM is my cousin. I thought his involvement in her life was an attempt to offer a helping hand to both of us. I was shocked to find out otherwise. Ironically after years of not being trusted she was the one who cheated. My sons have always come to me for everything. My handling of this has been a mixed bag of being sensitive to their plight in this, and times when I should have not been so open. BTW, two of them are in their 20's so they're not kids. In the end I agree that both of us, H & W have not handled that aspect in the best fashion.
- you have pointed out how I would argue points until I get my way. I wish! I never got "my way". I understand that it takes two to get to where we are, so I agree that I could have handled my end differently.
- I agree that I have been playing the role of the martyr at an Oscar winning level. What I don't get is that whenever I do anything to GAL she gets upset and says that our separation is no problem because she can see that I can GAL without her. That frustrates me because if I did not GAL it would be unattractive, and because I have it justifies to her that we will be fine on our own. Also, even in the midst of her affair, she still has to accuse me of OW when I am not doing anything like that. I never have strayed from her since I have known her. You're a woman. Explain it to me!
