I'm still here part III

[Telemark]

DG...

I feel exactly...EXACTLY...the same way. The anxiety, shortness of breath, panic, fighting the temptation to throw myself at my W's feet, not believing this is really happening...

We think we want what we used to have. We want the security, the feeling of being loved, the sense of "partnership", the company, the physical touch...we want it all back. We see where we went wrong and we know it would be so much better this time around.

But we are only half of the equation. Our WAS's are gone. For whatever screwed-up reasons, they think their happiness lies with others. They have made up their minds and if they destroy a few lives in the process, well so what? We'll all get over it, right? We have become shadows and memories.

I don't have a warm fuzzy answer to any of this. I think all you and I, and any of us, can do is love ourselves, know that our happiness and sanity do not depend on our WAS's and keep looking forward to the day when this does not occupy our thoughts 24/7.

We can do this.