What do I do next?

[luvhurts49]

I'm doing about the only thing that I can think of doing at this point. When I have my kids, I take care of them and do everything that I can to make them happy.

Before my W left, you could say that I was impatient, would be confrontational, would raise my voice, and be easily annoyed or frustrated especially when it came to my kids. Now, I'm trying to work on being more patient, change the way I approach conflict with my kids, be more aware of the tone of voice I am using, and try to remain calm instead of annoyed and to talk things through as to not become frustrated.

My progress in these areas are still a work in progress, but I think it's getting better. I still need to work on always having to right and always trying to pushing my opinions onto others.

Of course, when it comes to my W, I still want to understand, but I also know that I can't change her mind for her. I can only "fix" me and I can't "fix" her and sometimes that gets me a little frustrated. On top of that, I'm not as sure that there isn't OM as I was in the past. I have contemplated spying on her or hiring a PI as I would really like to have that piece of mind, but on the other hand, I'm not sure what it would do to me psychologically if she was/is with OM.