I agree with you. I do not want to do this. I want to take things very slow. For my sake and my D's sake. I prefer to live separate for at least for 6 more months.
If he mentions this again, I am going to say no. I want to take things slow. Like I said in the post above, I prefer to live separate for at least for 6 more months.
It was an interesting night so far. I was out with some friends and my H called. Where I was at was loud so as I was walking outside, I answered the phone. He heard the music in the background and asked what I was up to. I told him that I was out with some friends. He then told me how cute our D's hair looked. Her hair was curly today. It was small talk then we hung up. Well 10 mins later I got a text from him saying:
H: party girl!!!! :-P Me: Thats me! Wish u were here. H: so do i...that would mean we had a babysitter! LMAO! Me: Could have been arranged. H: how? Me: with enough notice or later H: call me. when u can, silly Me: ok
So I waited another 30 min and then I called him. Once again, small talk.
1) Wish u were here 2) Could have been arranged 3) With enough notice or later
You're telling him directly you wish he was there, and then laying on guilt that he didn't work with you to arrange it!
If you're truly detaching your reply would have been:
"That's me! Having fun!"
Do your best to leave him out of it! Make HIM wish he was there.
Make sense? You're doing great, but you're still pursuing -- the more you can put the brakes on that the more you will reel him in.
Always remember, he wants to pursue you! You're not fun to pursue if you just sit down and say "you got me" right away. Make him wonder, make him work. The harder he has to work now, the more he will respect what he has, and the less likely he will be to stray in the future, because you were HARD WON!
Keep it up Hopeful, this truly is very hard, but you are making progress, I think you can see that. Trust in the approach, detach even more!
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
I understand. As I was typing the above, I realized I was pursuing.
Well, last night when I went to bed, I turned my cell phone off and when I woke up at 9:30 this morning, I received 2 text messages from H and then he called me. He asked what I was doing and I replied I just woke up. He asked if I wanted to go to the mall with him and our D. And he showed up at my house with 5 mins. He was already in route to pick me up. So off to the mall went. He admitted to me that for the past two weeks he has missed me and that scared him. He wants to take things very slow and see if I have really changed. He also admitted that he has some issues that he needs to work on as well. Such as why he needs to be in contact with other women.
We sent the entire day together. Which was great. He did hug and kiss me quite a few times. He left around 7:30 tonight. But it was weird. He gave me a somewhat of a hug, more like a pat on the back and thanks. No kiss or nothing. Not that I expected one. But it would have been nice.
I am still going to keep some distance between us. At least for my sake.
[quote=Hopeful321He did give me a compliment on my appearance. Which he hasn't done in a long time[/quote]
this right here...just to keep you in his back pocket in case his affair doesn't work out - stay away from him! no need to meet face to face you can talk on the phone otherwise AVOID him!
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
I understand. As I was typing the above, I realized I was pursuing.
Well, last night when I went to bed, I turned my cell phone off and when I woke up at 9:30 this morning, I received 2 text messages from H and then he called me. He asked what I was doing and I replied I just woke up. He asked if I wanted to go to the mall with him and our D. And he showed up at my house with 5 mins. He was already in route to pick me up. So off to the mall went. He admitted to me that for the past two weeks he has missed me and that scared him. He wants to take things very slow and see if I have really changed. He also admitted that he has some issues that he needs to work on as well. Such as why he needs to be in contact with other women.
We sent the entire day together. Which was great. He did hug and kiss me quite a few times. He left around 7:30 tonight. But it was weird. He gave me a somewhat of a hug, more like a pat on the back and thanks. No kiss or nothing. Not that I expected one. But it would have been nice.
I am still going to keep some distance between us. At least for my sake.
\
Sorry but all this tells me is that he probably got into a fight with the girlfriend and is making sure you are still around. I am not being negative just being real. It's happened so much here. Don't fall for it. Keep living your own life. Do not give him anymore time if he is not committing to your M.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
As I said in a previous post, I spent last Saturday with my H and D. Then on Sunday morning he called to talk about our D sucking her thumb, which we already talked about this on Saturday. Then he text a couple of times after that.
Well, I have not heard from him until this morning. He called and talked to me about how daycare lost our D's sippy cup. And he talked about something other things about our D. It was just small talk. I think he was just looking for an excuse to call and talk to me. Thats ok because I feel like these are baby steps for him.
