Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

[cam]

Thanks Finah, I know things will get better one day, although I don't really at the moment, but everyone tells me it will.
The longest we have had no contact is 3 weeks....I think now after this I will try to stop it for a long time, I've tried before but I worry about her and miss her and just want to see or talk to her. I know, I'm pathetic.

[Finah]

The longest we have had no contact is 3 weeks

Your not pathetic.........you love and miss your W.


Strive for 4 weeks.

Been over 5 since I have seen or spoken to my WW.

I wonder if she even exists.

Just keep telling yourself you are going to be okay.


Pretty soon you will start to live it.

[cam]

I wish I was that strong.

[Finah]

one day at a time

you'll get there

[aeolianchaos]

Cam,

I'm trying to take a bit of a break from the boards but I did want to jump in because I would like to help you move through this pain as fast as possible.

This isn't going to sound too empathic or validating, but I want to speak the strongest and best in who you are.

You're going to feel pain and that is inevitable - suffering and pain are a part of life and within that suffering you can find tremendous seeds for growth and your own development of self.

You've already started down that path, and the latest turn of events is a discouragement but it isn't an insurmountable wall.

Finah is on the money - you need to be putting your energy into yourself right now.

All that energy you put into telling yourself stories about your pain, your w, your future love life... those are all stories in your head and we all tell ourselves these stories. But they don't reflect that the sun came up today. They don't reflect that the wind blows.. they certainly don't reflect that as tough as this seems right now, there will be a time in the future when you could be grateful for the experience.

Whatever this moment is, is. Accept that it is, and accept that it will change - the morning can only last until the evening. It's inevitable.

I know the worries about never being loved - I told myself those same stories at one point - but they are stories cam. If you seize this opportunity and learn from it then not only will you be able to be loved, but more importantly you will have the strength to love in a deeper way than you are capable of now.

F the wedding album. I mean really -- it is a bunch of photos. If You guys R? Get a new album made.

I don't think you're crazy - I think you are trying to find a way to deal with some very intense and painful $h!t and you picked a strategy that was more symbolic than effective.

I gave my W all of that stuff because I don't want it anyways. It was just a day.. and she put more effort into planning that day than she did into working out our M issues. I'm guessing your experience is not that different.. WAW from short marriages are a little different than WAW from long marriages, from what I've observed.

if you are sincerely concerned that you might do something to harm yourself, please do contact someone who knows how to help you deal with that immediate crisis. I think you have a really fantastic future ahead of you and that this can be a major turning point in how you lead your life and how you think about yourself as well.

[MrBond]

Since the beginning of your sitch, you've had alot of anger that's never been addressed. Are you seeing a C? Not for your M but for your anger issues.

I think that's what needs to be tackled first.

[dbmod]

Hi cam,

I am so sorry you are in such pain. A great deal of us have been in your place and have had had similar thoughts. Finah is correct--just get through today. Or the hour. Or the minute.

It DOES get better. I promise you. It gets much better, and can even get GREAT. It can be slow or at least FEEL very slow.

We are here with you.

If you feel worse, go to an emergency room.

Or visit here / make a phone call:


Crisis hotlines

[cam]

Thanks all. Sorry, but ive just completely lost it. Haven't been to work in two days, I'm just sitting here crying all day and am so sad and missing her so much,
I don't know what's happened, I just can't handle this anymore.

[Valeska19]

Cam,
Where can you go? Who can you call? If you are struggling (which clearly you are) please don't do go through it alone.

Reach out.. not just to us but to friends and family. It's okay to lean on others in a time like this.

[cam]

Thanks Val.
Unfortunately my friends and family are sick of hearing about this and how much I am struggling. They all feel I should have moved on by now and gotten over it.
I wish it was that easy.