Confronted spouse...now he wont come home

[Nblost]

Ugh, I can't believe it's only been a week since my last post. Anyway, H is still traveling extensively for work to OW's city. I have been trying to do the LRT and I think I've been fairly successful. I don't reach out to him unless it is something about the kids...I wait for him to reach out first. I haven't been initiating R talks (although he has twice). I also don't make plans that include him although he seems to want to do things with us when he is home.

I sense some cracks beginning to emerge...but, he is saying he needs to see what happens with the affair (he wants me to give him a few more weeks). Otherwise, he will always wonder about it. I completely think this is a joke...very disrespectful and I've told him that I am clearly his second choice which I do not deserve. I had told him to move out...but with his travel, he hasn't made a single move towards that. I've asked him about different options for where he would live, but I can tell he doesn't want to think about it.

The cracks I see are that he is saying more positive things about me and our marriage. I asked him if he would move to OW's city and he said, "that would be a long ways off, I love you, I love our kids and I like living here". He has also been noticing changes in me--I am going out more with friends, am in better shape (I've lost 20 pounds and wasn't really overweight before this started), and I've been a bit mysterious about what I do when he is away. We've continued to have some affectionate moments and he looks at me like he is attracted to me.

But, am I a fool? I feel so torn between DBing and putting his possessions on the front lawn while he is on a trip. Has anyone read Torn Asunder? That book talks about making sure the cheating spouse knows the extent of your anger and hurt. I have done some of that...but I feel like DBing may almost be too nice?

I do think allowing him to wallow in what he's done and not giving him new reasons to distance from me may be working. Like I said though, when all trust is gone...it's hard to trust that H could be seeing the light.

(Does anyone else wish the OW would just get hit by a bus???)