Antonia, reading your account made me cry.
Partially because of your continuing pain, your always connection to your X and the fatalism he expressed.

The other part is sheer fear that I will end up with much the same in the end.

BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.